\nA day when I am feeling overwhelmed by this illness, by the absurdity of having a disease that is rare, incurable, an illness that is more common in men over sixty – a fact which normally makes me smile but on a bad day, this day just makes me wonder how? why?
\nToday is a day when the burden feels too heavy to carry.
\nWe say God never gives us more than we can cope with but today I know he has me mixed up with someone else. I am not the person He thinks I am. I am tiny, I am weak. Today is a day I cannot do this.
\nToday is a day when I lose sight of hope, when I strain to hear the words, ‘everything will be ok’ and am met with silence.
\nToday is a day that I am lost in the tunnel, I cannot see the light at the end. Today is a dark day.
\nToday is a day that I stare too long into the faces of my boys, soaking in their smiles, their eyes, listen to their laughter and silently scream please don’t take me from them, let me stay. Today is a day that I beg.
\nToday is a day when the tears come too quickly.
\nToday is a sad day.”<\/p>\n
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I was born in the North West of England which invariably gave me the right to claim the “great Northern sense of humour” that this part of the world is renowned for. It has come in handy, proved itself to be both necessary and useful. Myself and siblings didn’t have a great childhood (that’s for … Continue reading The Darkest Day<\/span>